Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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