i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do vagina's smell?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
