Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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