you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
