She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
try to milk me bitch
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