I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
