I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
