why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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