It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
