my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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