dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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