From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
