Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
