It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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