Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
