oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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