just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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