Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
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