no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize