So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
