Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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