you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
