You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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