My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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