Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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