not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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