this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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