Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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