I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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