what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
