Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
