I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
