Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize