Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
