I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
