Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
