I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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