You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
