Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize