My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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