Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
