Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
