do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
