am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize