is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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