My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize