i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
