Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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