if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
