Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize