They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
