I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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