sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
