I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize