He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
