"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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