you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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