Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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