So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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