At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
