Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
