There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?