Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
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you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional