well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.