someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
