"it" just moved
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize